I’ll be

Today Edwin McCain’s “I’ll be” came on the radio at work before it got busy and I had to fight back tears. It’s so hard for me to feel right now.

I can’t imagine a man being there for me as a crying shoulder. I have friends and family for that.

Every time I swear off men, a person shows up to throw me off-kilter. I feel like there’s some sort of secret code broadcasted. “Hey, she’s single, let’s talk to her.” Actually, though, even when I was married, people would try to befriend me or chat with me and only when they crossed a line would I realize that their intentions weren’t for friendship.

On my worst days I can’t think of anything besides my feelings. Today is one of those days. Where I just can’t handle it. I’m in a daze and I can’t focus.


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